I've been home and away from the life that I use to live. The life of noise and vibrancy, that were once mine were now gone. I've been gone to a cool countryside where peace and serenity rules over me. I've been gone to the place to think things over and plan better than just do what lies ahead to secure your place in an unsecured world. When I return to the place where I learn to love, I'm now ready to walk the tough road ahead of me. There is something in the place that its hard for me to leave and stay away for so long no matter how difficult the life there is. I've learned to love the place for the kindness it showed me, for the life it provided me and most of all the teachings of living in the cosy and illuminated city.
The one thing that makes me human is my emotion and that the city full of life made me realize that I'm a human with feelings capable of loving and being loved or can be happy or be hurt. Has someone touched my lovestoned heart or let's say make a difference or somehow became my life - the air that I breathe that I would die without. But fate and circumstances has taken it away from me - so cruel that it deprives me of the things necessary for me to be a human to live the life of real world. But somehow God never taken me for granted that it gives me a kind of life that showers me with blessings. Maybe it is just the step by step technique I need to undergo. I must face first the toughness of this complicated world before settling down with being myself a human with a kind, loving but sometimes foolish heart for the rest of my life.
Sometimes I think of a beautiful someone that once knocked on my door and I open it for the person to enter my life, but all of a sudden, it vanished out of my sight without me knowing what had happened or what caused its disappearance. Then I only think that the beautiful person is a ghost that I thought would be mine and became part of me. It is a soul that nourishes my mind and awaken my senses until it bleeds my fragile heart. A spirit that feeds me with a soup to satiate the life to be inspired and keep going. I keep telling myself to move on and never look back, but no matter how hard I try, the more I linger on the past that continue to lacerate my now bleeding heart. Everyday, I continue to lose lots of blood though I'm still alive and in good health. I feel that someone has been a part of me a long way past before that I couldn't live without. I had a frequent bouts of loneliness, sometimes feels like crying and sometimes without me knowing tears run down my face each time I lie down in the stillness of the night or the darkness of a room thinking of that someone. But hope comforts me and wipe my tears of helplessness and despair. Someone won't stop until I'm back in health and strong enough to walk and move. I need someone to pump blood to me to feel great again and to resuscitate air for me to breathe life. Until that day when all has been done, the work has finished, the sun is above my head, I will rest for awhile before settling down to be myself to have a world and a life of my own surrounded by a mutual affection shared with an awesome someone - my soul partner, my world, my life. Someone I feel but go unnoticed, someone that once knocked on my door but suddenly vanished or yet far for my eyes to see. Till then but for now brave the odds and beat the storm.
I believe I already found that someone or just lost it or so I think!
The one thing that makes me human is my emotion and that the city full of life made me realize that I'm a human with feelings capable of loving and being loved or can be happy or be hurt. Has someone touched my lovestoned heart or let's say make a difference or somehow became my life - the air that I breathe that I would die without. But fate and circumstances has taken it away from me - so cruel that it deprives me of the things necessary for me to be a human to live the life of real world. But somehow God never taken me for granted that it gives me a kind of life that showers me with blessings. Maybe it is just the step by step technique I need to undergo. I must face first the toughness of this complicated world before settling down with being myself a human with a kind, loving but sometimes foolish heart for the rest of my life.
Sometimes I think of a beautiful someone that once knocked on my door and I open it for the person to enter my life, but all of a sudden, it vanished out of my sight without me knowing what had happened or what caused its disappearance. Then I only think that the beautiful person is a ghost that I thought would be mine and became part of me. It is a soul that nourishes my mind and awaken my senses until it bleeds my fragile heart. A spirit that feeds me with a soup to satiate the life to be inspired and keep going. I keep telling myself to move on and never look back, but no matter how hard I try, the more I linger on the past that continue to lacerate my now bleeding heart. Everyday, I continue to lose lots of blood though I'm still alive and in good health. I feel that someone has been a part of me a long way past before that I couldn't live without. I had a frequent bouts of loneliness, sometimes feels like crying and sometimes without me knowing tears run down my face each time I lie down in the stillness of the night or the darkness of a room thinking of that someone. But hope comforts me and wipe my tears of helplessness and despair. Someone won't stop until I'm back in health and strong enough to walk and move. I need someone to pump blood to me to feel great again and to resuscitate air for me to breathe life. Until that day when all has been done, the work has finished, the sun is above my head, I will rest for awhile before settling down to be myself to have a world and a life of my own surrounded by a mutual affection shared with an awesome someone - my soul partner, my world, my life. Someone I feel but go unnoticed, someone that once knocked on my door but suddenly vanished or yet far for my eyes to see. Till then but for now brave the odds and beat the storm.
I believe I already found that someone or just lost it or so I think!
